Hello and welcome back ;)
This blog has been in hiatus since 2016. That is a very long time since I’ve logged in to this blog. I’ve been missing you readers. Did you miss me too? Ha-ha.
A lot has happened in my life since I left my online space here. To be honest, I’ve lost my writing skills and stories to tell. I burnt out. I used to use online space to share my point of view, my problems, stories et cetera et cetera. But after so many things that happened in my life, I tend to keep everything to myself. I didn’t even share my problems with my parents, siblings, friends or anyone. People seem to say that I looked normal. I laughed, I smiled, I joked, and I even socialized in events (which I don’t do that normally). I took part in group projects, spending most of my off day at work. I’ve deactivated my ‘Facebook’ account last couple of years because I think it will cause me more depress seeing updates shared by my friends. I’ve toned down my “Twitter” account and archive most of my shared pictures in “Instagram”.
It took me some time to realize that online social space really took my personal life. The need to share everything, anything didn’t bring any good to me.
Who am I trying to impress?
What I get in return for every sad story that I shared?
What kind of response that I will get every time I share my problem?
What will others feel with my good news?
Feeling of being alone when you are not actually alone is so miserable. You have lost trust to everyone in your life. You will try your very hard to keep looking normal while you are fighting your own devil inside of you every single day.
I wish I don’t have to questions myself every morning I wake up.
I wish I don’t have to questions myself every night before I went to sleep.
I wish I can just let the devil win and took away my life.
Well…
That’s me. An introvert, diagnosed with depression who is trying to live her life accordingly to what people expected her to be.
So what is your story?
No comments:
Post a Comment